the very sweetest wisdom

Remember that the fool in the eyes of the gods and the fool in the eyes of man are very different. One who is entirely ignorant of the modes of Art in its revolution or the moods of thought in its progress, of the pomp of the Latin line or the richer music of the vowelled Greek, of Tuscan sculpture or Elizabethan song may yet be full of the very sweetest wisdom. The real fool, such as the gods mock or mar, is he who does not know himself. ... The supreme vice is shallowness. Everything that is realized is right.
-- Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

The very sweetest wisdom...what is that? To know oneself?

To know oneself...but how? For within oneself, there are many people to know. I am acquainted with my dark side. My quirky side is my soulmate. I am quite close with my spiritual side, and we are becoming better friends every day.

But while I know much of what lies within myself, I do not know what I want in life. It occurs to me that perhaps wisdom is what happens when one stops trying to be wise, but trying to navigate life and love without a guide, a map or a compass is not exactly an easy thing to do. I feel as though I am wandering. The Lord dwells within me, yet uncertainty and insecurity remain my closest traveling companions. If the opinions of others are mirrors, what does my reflection look like? When will I know what is right for my life? How can I possibly leave this world better than I found it? Whose heart will I break on this seemingly aimless quest?

All I want for myself is this: to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God, to be kind and compassionate even to the least of my brethren, and ultimately to find wisdom in the fear of the Lord.

Yet this is that which I have come to know about myself, that which is realized, and therefore is right:

Despite all attempts at depth, I can only scratch the surface. Shallowness has become my supreme, unhappy vice. The gods shall mock and mar me, for I do not know myself. For all my love and desire of wisdom, I remain a fool.